Make your own free website on Tripod.com

Batman Talking Tough with Criminals



Robin: "You give yourselves up without a struggle, we'll try and make things easier for you."
Batman: "And if not you may be severely pummelled about the head and shoulders."

Batman: "It's beddy-bye for you, Penquin."

Batman: "You must have flipped your raspberry, Joker."

Batman to King Tut: "Your predictions are nothing but phony, fatuous flim-flam."

Batman: "Shame on you, Shame."

"The odious,
abhorrent,
and
insegrievious
Catwoman."
Shame: "Don't make a move Batman, or I'll fill you full a' lead."
Batman: "You can't frighten us with a vague threat, Shame."

Batman to Catwoman: "Don't try anything untoward."

Batman: "Catwoman, I find you to be odious, abhorrent, and insegrievious."

Batman to French Freddy: "I'll accept your explanation for the nonce. However, if we find that you've been perbearicading, it will not go well for you."

Batman: "Catwoman, you've been hoised on your own pitard."

Batman: "So that's your game, Joker! Aiding and abetting attempted bigamy!"

Batman to Colonel Gumm: "You Satanic, mad, stamp man!"

Robin: "It won't help you, Joker. Bruce Wayne will press charges. He was born on top of the social ladder!"
Bruce: "Yes, I am reasonably secure, socially."

Batman (speaking on morning radio show): "This message is for King Tut only. I request all other citizens to comply with my wishes and shut their radios off for the next 30 seconds."

Batman (listening to King Tut on the radio): "Oh, such language."

Batman to Catwoman: "I had a hunch that you'd try something not quite kosher."

Batman: "What deviltry are you up to now, Joker?"

Batman to Joker: "Shall we go into the men's locker room and put on our baggies?"

Batman: "I'm quite interested in fog lawns, Lord...Ffogg."

Batman to Catwoman: "Don't try to pull the wool over our eye-slits."

Bruce to Joker: "No thank you, I never use tobacco in any form."

Joker: "No! You're kaput! Finis! Defunct!"
Batman: "We're very much not defunct, Joker."

Joker: "Who are you calling?"
Catwoman: "Lucky Pierre. The world's greatest and luckiest criminal attorney. He's never lost a case."
Batman: "Is it a toll call?"

Louie the Lilac to Bruce and Dick: "Let's hope the authorities pass over the million dollars I'm planning to ask for you shortly."
Bruce: "That's a high price for two average people."

Louie the Lilac: "What equipment would you need for your operation?"
Bruce: "I'll need two glasses of warm water."
Lotus: "Two glasses of warm water?"
Bruce: "Yes, warm water plays a major part in newly perfected animal surgery."

Nora Clavicle: "Do you know what this document is, Batman?"
Batman: "If I dared move my head, I might recognize it, but I daren't."

Shame: "Your mother wore army shoes."
Batman: "Yes, she did. As I recall, she found them quite comfortable."

Batman: "If you need to be vitriolic, vituperative, and vindictive, Shame, go right ahead."

Batman: "Stand up, Shame! You're not worthy of the name Shame, you're a sham, Shame! Don't ever cry on my tights or pull my leg again."

Batman: "Well, Joker, it looks like you've flown your last saucer."

Batman: "Expletives will get you nowhere, Penguin."

Batman to Riddler: "If this gas ignites, it'll blow you to Kingdom Come, you venal viper!"

Joker: "Look up the statute. In Gotham City, the crime of loitering requires the loiterer to remain in the same spot for over two minutes!"
Batman: "You...you jailhouse lawyer!"

Catwoman (about her tiger which is about to eat Batman): "It's been a very long time between bites for Tinkerbell."
Batman: "You should take better care of him, Catwoman. After all, pets are a responsibility."

Batman: "I've heard that song before, Catwoman. And the last few bars are always the same - the criminal is always behind them."

Batman (to Catwoman): "There is more than one way to skin a cat, woman."

Catwoman: "Are you a betting man, Batman?"
Batman: "I never gamble."

Batman: "You should have learned much sooner, Miss Limpet. The oldest plot and still the best: 'Crime does not pay'."

Riddler (to Dynamic Duo: "For two people about to become human candles, you have a lot of questions."
Batman: "I'm always interested in the way the criminal mind works."

Batman: "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with knives?"

Batman: "A fitting end for you, Joker. Like the rest of your criminal ilk, you were never anything but a threatening bag of hot air. Chief O'Hara, call your men to cart this human trash away!"

Batman (to King Tut): "You thought you had unhinged me. I kept my reason by reciting the multiplication tables backwards."

Batman (to Pauline, Riddler's partner in crime): "Stop! Surrender! Give yourself up! By all that is holy I might forget myself and do you violence!"

Batman (to Catwoman): "Are you ready to capitulate?"

Batman: "You can only fool some people some of the time, Clock King."

Batman (to Chief Screaming Chicken): "You Chicken turned chicken?"

Marsha, Queen of Diamonds: "You mean you're not in love with me?"
Batman: "I'm not even mildly interested."

Batman, interrogating a suspect: "Come off it, Bellgoody. You're pulling my boot!"

Batman: "I made a bargain with Penguin, and I never break my word."
Marsha: "Bargain? Why, half the men in the world would fight to be kissed by Marsha, Queen of Diamonds."
Batman: "They certainly wouldn't have to fight me."

Joker: "Oh, I have to give you credit, Catwoman. I expected this place to be a shambles because of a fight!"
Batman, entering: "As it may yet be, Joker."

Black Widow: "Well, Bat-doll, perhaps you'd like some champagne."
Batman: "No, I never touch spirits. Have you some milk?"

Batman: "A gun? Aren't you a little above that, Doctor Cassandra? Noooooo style."

Blaze: "No wonder I'm starved, it's after lunch! Oh Batman, would you get me a candy bar please?"
Batman: "Candy? Actually, fresh fruit is much more healthful."

Batman: "A life of crime has worn the Riddler's moral fibre to a frayed strand."

Batman: "Puzzler's malfeasant methods are legendary."

Batman: "The Riddler contrives his plots like artichokes. You have to strip off spiny leaves to reach the heart."

Batman, about Joker: "His insane conceit may betray him."

Batman: "The mind of a criminal like Riddler's is a sponge which soaks up many strange facts."


Back to Quotes Index