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Batman's Miscellaneous Comments



Robin: "Where's Alfred?"
Batman: "He's probably out shopping. Today is market day and you know how he likes to take advantage of the specials."

Batman, about the Batcave: "It's a place to hang our cowls."

Batman, during Bat-climb: "I wish we could help you, citizen, but we're just a couple of ordinary crimefighters going about our mundane business."

Batman: "I've been here all morning sipping a soda with Catwoman."

Batman: "Out of the mouths of Boy Wonders oft-times come gems."

Robin: "I'm surprised at you, Batman! Many battles have been won before electricity and telephone were ever invented!"
Batman: "Gosh, Robin. You may be right!"

Alfred, entering from study: "Sir, a Mister Gordon Commish is calling."
Bruce: "Yes, we've been expecting his call..."


The Batcave...
"It's a place to hang our cowls."

Mr. Cash: "Oh, Batman, am I going to be alright?"
Batman: "Take two cold tablets, and get plenty of rest. Your cerebrum will be fine in the morning, Mr. Cash."

Robin, looking at elderly couple sitting on porch: "Three hours and they're still going strong!"
Batman: "I thought they'd be off their rockers by now."

Batman, with his brain short-circuited, singing to Robin:
"I'm called buttercup, dear little buttercup. Though I could never tell why. But still I'm called buttercup, poor little buttercup, sweet little buttercup, aaaah..."

Batman: "Holy complications indeed, Robin."

Batman: "Robin and I were just putting a flower decal on the Batmobile."

Batman: "Now to make this planted story sprout."

Batman: "Let's go, Robin. We've set another youth on the road to a brighter tomorrow."

Bruce: "Since the murder of my parents by dastardly criminals, violence has been anathema to me."

Batman: "I don't like having to resort to such mendacity."

Susie Knickerbocker: "I hear millionaire Bruce Wayne is really one of the hippies. All that marvelous money and fantastic Wayne Manor..."
Batman: "Stately Wayne Manor!"

Susie Knickerbocker: "Batman, I think that's a darling little costume you're wearing. Where did you get it, in London or Rome?"
Batman: "No, I believe in patronizing local craftsmen."

Batman, coming through Barbara's window: "We would have entered the building by more conventional means, but we didn't want to startle the tenants."

Batman: "It never would have worked if it hadn't been for the two skeletons in your closet."

Robin: "If we land on the beach, Batman, we might hurt someone."
Batman: "And cause undue attention, old chum. We'll set down at Pelican Cove, just north of Gotham Point, and walk down the beach just like ordinary people."

Batman, about visiting Queen Bess: "She specifically requested meeting us to discuss the rise in Belgravian misdemeanors."

Robin: "What's Gotham City going to do with five hundred pounds of dehydrated caviar?"
Batman: "Noone could decide."

Batman (presenting his case in court): "We are gathered here today to prove that Catwoman, Joker, and their men are guilty of several major offenses. To wit: robbery, attempted murder, assault.....and battery! Mayhem, and overtime parking."

Batman (making his closing statements): "In the interests of law, order, justice, good fellowship, and the flag, you must convict them to keep our streets safe from evil persons. Thank you."

Barbara: "It's a lovely beach house, Bruce."
Bruce: "I really haven't used it very much. Now that my youthful ward, Dick Grayson, is growing up, he needs a place to entertain his friends."

Batman: "Just play, Robin. Play for all your worth!"

Robin: "What about the insecticide bat-bomb?"
Batman: "I left it in the Batmobile."

Bruce (on the phone): "Hello, Ibn Mugdash? This is Bruce Wayne. No, no, it's not about my oil interests."

Batman, reading Shame's letter: "It's full of misspellings, and I'm full of misgivings."

Robin, about Batgirl's identity: "I don't think we should even attempt to fathom it, Batman. She treasures her own anonymity every bit as much as we treasure ours."
Batman: "Of course you're right, Robin. Still...well, there's just no time."

Batman, affected by fear gas: "Stand in front of me, Batgirl!"

Robin, as Batman heads to certain doom: "Batman, I --"
Batman: "Don't say it, Robin. I understand."

Barbara: "Is she really a doctor?"
Batman: "She isn't even a nurse!"

Batgirl, about the Special Escaped Archcriminal Bat-locator: "That must come in quite handy."
Batman: "Quite. Every crimefighter should have one."

Minerva: "Register for both, yourself and your son."
-Uncomfortable pause-
Batman: "Although I'd be proud if he were, this is not my son, this is Robin the Boy Wonder."

Minerva: "You can't get the full value from a mineral spa fully dressed."
Batman: "Our boots, leotards, gauntlets, capes, cowls, and even our utility belts are more permeable than you might think. Shall we start?"

Batman, walking through crowded discotheque: "I shouldn't wish to attract attention."

Bruce: "Dick? Like some help with that algebra?"
Dick: "Sure would, Bruce!"

Batman: "This unique garb of ours is one of our weapons in crimefighting. It shouldn't bother anyone who abides by the law."

Batman, after two crooks hiding in sarcophagi kill each other: "Hoised on their own murderous pitards. A couple of mummies. Let's taketh them to the morgue."

Robin: "Then when you thought you were stopping him with your utility belt, he was really stopping us with his!"
Batman: "The tricky devil. He's hit us below the belt!"

Bruce: "The good works of my Wayne Foundation require that I stay above the brawl of politics."

Batman: "Who's the president of your student council?"
Principal Schoolfield: "A boy named Grayson, a Richard Grayson, a fine lad."
Batman: "I'm glad to hear it."

Batman, at Student Council meeting: "What's your name, son?"
Dick: "Richard Grayson, sir!"
Batman: "Thank you, Richard. You darken the room, I'll man the projector."
Dick: "Roger!"

Robin (about Cheerleader Suzy who is working for Joker): "Is it possible, Batman?"
Batman: "It's an old story I'm afraid, as old as Eve and the Apple. That snake, the Joker, must have promised her some baubles and led her astray."

Ticket vendor: "No charge. You can go right in."
Batman: "No, I'd rather pay just like every other ordinary citizen."

Bruce (after seeing Commissioner Gordon being shot on TV): "This is one time we don't wait for the Batphone."

Batman (to citizens): "Take cover in the side streets! The recipes in this cookbook could be explosive."

Robin (as Batman tries to call the Batcave): "Do you think Alfred is there?"
Batman: "He is a creature of well disciplined habits. It's his regular time for dusting the Atomic Pile."

Bruce: "We'll finish our snack later, Aunt Harriet."

Alfred (to Bruce after answering the Batphone): "A Mister Rime...A Mister K. Rime, if you understand me."
Bruce: "Of course. Mister K. Rime with a red hot line of investments for the Wayne Foundation. Dick, it's about time you started learning something about the elements of investment."

Robin: "The Penguin in business as a private eye?"
Batman: "Hiring him to guard jewels is like trusting a leaf of lettuce to a rabbit."

Batman (after learning Penquin entered the Gotham City Millionaires Club): "That bird of prey among the golden geese!"

Batman (after retrieving the Batmobile from Penquin): "The Batmobile, we'll have to have it fumagated."

Batman: "If only the Riddler's inventive mind could be channeled for good, what a better world this would be."

Robin (about to break into hideout): "Can I go first? I want to see their faces...."
Batman (stopping Robin): "Dynamic seniority."

Maharajah (writing a cheque): "'Pay to the order of Batman...' "
Batman: "One 'T'."

Riddler: "You lied to me, Boy Wonder!"
Batman: "A little white lie is excusable."

Dick Grayson: "Who is it, Bruce? Has the Penguin kidnapped someone special?"
Bruce Wayne: "Dick, I'm afraid you better put your Latin verbs aside for the nonce. The kidnapped man is Alfred."

Batman: "New slogan, same old Tut."

Miss Iceland: "Oh Batman, what can I ever do to thank you?"
Batman: "Thank the judges at the Miss Galaxy Beauty Contest, Miss Iceland. They agreed to postpone the final event until you were found."

Batman to Gordon and O'Hara: "We have tickets for tonight's finals in the Gotham City Miss Galaxy Contest. I know Robin is a little young for this sort of thing, but --"
Robin: "I'm not going to be young all my life, Batman, and besides, uh, beauty contests are practically an American institution!"
Batman: "You see, gentlemen, such pure logic is indisputable."

Batman: "Come on, Robin. Let's help a little old lady across the street, and into the penitentiary."

Batman (to citizen): "May I suggest you lock your car, sir. Your local police are asking all Gotham Cityites to cooperate in a current campaign. You might place this sticker on your bumper." (Hands over a bright red "Lock Your Car" sticker.)

Robin: "Maybe Egghead wants to start a war between the Gotham City citizens and the Indians."
Batman: "I don't think so, Robin. There is only one Indian left. He'd be outnumbered 10,000,000 to 1."

Gordon: "That leaves only Bruce Wayne."
Robin: "I wonder where he is?"
Batman: "Unquestionably out doing something inconsequential with his youthful ward, Dick Grayson. You know how those millionaire playboys are."

Batman (to Chief Screaming Chicken): "Chow chief."

Batman (to Robin): "Let's give them a taste of our knuckles, shall we?"

Robin: "What does it mean, Batman?"
Batman: "It means we've got the criminal by his large, grey, double A head."

Batman: "It's all some murky masquerade to hoodwink a hapless, sleepless money bags. Now, can you name some famous insomniacs?"
Robin: "Well, there was Olaf the Sad of Norway."
Batman: "He's been dead for 800 years."
Robin: "And that famous Chinese historian, Foo Ha Chung."
Batman: "Born with no eyelids."
Robin: "How about that French Empress whose head stayed awake even after she'd been guillotined?"
Batman: "Poor creature."

Child, looking at poster of Batman and Robin: "Boo, Batman!"
Dick: "Gosh, Bruce, did you hear that?"
Bruce: "Nothing has ever cut me so deeply to the quick. No blow ever struck by any archvillain has ever hurt me so acutely as that little boy's 'boo'."

Barbara: "I didn't know you were a student of the classics."
Robin: "Batman teaches me a little poetry in between remanding criminals to jail."
Batman: "Enough prose and cons, Robin."

Robin: "What is it, Batman?"
Batman: "A potpourri of news, Robin, both good and bad."

Robin: "King Tut ran up the shaft."
Batman: "Yes, he moves very quickly for an overstuffed and unlikely Egyptian pharoah."

Alfred: "You look a little harassed, sir. Perhaps this snack will help."
Batman: "No thanks, Alfred. You know I never mix crime-fighting with eating."

Bruce: "And exactly where was the Wayne limousine found, Alfred?"
Alfred: "On a shadowy side street, Sir, in a Gotham City suburb. I hope you don't mind me taking the liberty of dismantling it for you."
Bruce: "Not at all, Alfred. You saved us at least 15 minutes by doing that."

Batman: "Congratulations, Alfred. Your keen sartorial sense has done it again."

Alfred: "I came as soon as I received your morse bat-code message. It was really most propitious that I happened to be dusting the Batcave when you sent it."
Batman: "I counted on your love for your work."

Alfred: "Dinner time, sir."
Batman: "A peanut butter and water crest sandwich and a glass of milk would have been sufficient enough, Alfred."


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